The Truth

So I just watched the movie, Away We Go, with John Krasinski and Maya rudolph.  I have to say that it may have been one of the hardest movies I’ve tried to watch while not falling asleep.  And that is not to say that it is bad, it is not.  It just has very very somber peaceful music that I would listen to if I wanted to go to sleep or to get high and imagine I was riding a dragon.  That being said, for a movie that is only an hour and a half long, it felt like forever.  Most of it was pretty good, it had some quirkiness to it that was interesting.  The last 15 minutes or so kind of took away from that though and went straight girly emotional but thats ok.  I would like to point out one scene in this movie though.  It was pure brilliance.  Actually instead of telling you about it.  Here it is thanks to the wonderful youtube. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCf6E1sBjns

Babies like to breathe and they’re good at hiding. I put a pillow over a baby. I thought she wasn’t breathing, but she was. She was sneaky, but I’ll try again…

Alrighty, so after a nice night out watching a boy go from rags to riches, or lowes foods to nashville, I have decided not to blog about my night last night. Here are some highlights if you were interested.  I went to trivia, and we (reptile dysfunction) won again, two out of the last three weeks.  I ate a chinese salad(delicious) it proceeded to last 15 minutes in me and now resides in the sewers of garner.  apparently trivia was also a Scotty party so we were on tv.  and then I went home and tried to sleep.  That was that.  This is now

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/may/26/tax-dollars-shrimp-treadmills-jell-o-wrestling/

I am sad for the people that got to do this stuff as their job.  They must have loved it. But now they are going to have to do serious work.  I just don’t like the idea of the senate running around ruining everyones fun.  I mean, is it financially responsible to study shrimp on treadmills, or wrestle in jell-o? Probably not.  But is it awesome, and wouldn’t you do that at work if you could?  Absolutely.  So I think we should get some new faces in the senate and get rid of these prudes.  Amen. 

On to day two of my new feature, News with Nick!  Now while this isn’t going to be a politically motivated (not on purpose anyway) feature. I amhowever going to take every opportunity to point out certain shadiness or questionable practices of one Barack Hussein Obama.  Not because I don’t like him.  I do.  He likes college sports.  He’s articulate.  And he compared his birth to that of Simba’s in The Lion King.  Cool guy.  But I sat through 8 years of people making fun of my favorite president of all time. That being said. 

Today’s article comes to us from The Examiner.

http://washingtonexaminer.com/politics/2011/05/obama-skirts-rule-law-reward-pals-punish-foes

Now I do think there is something to taking care of your own.  Wait, no I don’t, that kind of thinking is what is whole this country to an ever complicated state of racism.  That however is for another day.  This article brings to the forefront the idea that favoritism is abundant in government obviously.  But the problem is not that Barack Hussein Obama is giving favors to his supporters and financial contributors. It is that he is sparing them from HIS health care plan that is supposed to be great for America. 

This is like me baking a nice pan of brownies, which I would never do because I am a man.  And saying that they are for everyone to enjoy so that everybody can have a nice warm brownie to make their tummy smile.  Then telling my closest friends that they should not eat the brownies, because, in fact, they are laced with laxatives.  Just imagine how I would be perceived if this news ever came public.  It would be a proverbial (pardon my language) shit storm.

Now if you believe in your health care plan, stand behind it.  Don’t let your buddies slip by with their old health care plans if you think this new one is better. Or tell everyone what you really think about it.  If it sucks, it sucks. if it’s good then believe in it. 

“Aw, come on man, Believe in Something!!!”  -Kevin Malone

And then a man came to them from across the sea.  He said to them, give me your hand and I will show you things you could never imagine.  Then he took their hands chopped them off and drank their blood like champagne.  And you call this man your leader. How dare you. 

I have decided to make a bigger commitment to my blog.  People need to hear what I have to say and in order to make that happen I need to speak.  So I have decided to implement a new feature to the blog, “News with Nick!”  This feature will serve two purposes.  First it will provide relevant information to my followers, so far 1, Rebekah Todd.  Secondly, it will give me more motivation to learn about what is going on in the world, which I need to know.  Not only so that certain people can stop mocking my lack of knowledge of current affairs, but also so that I may be a better trivia buff and can help lead “Reptile Dysfunction” to a trivia league championship.  So with that here is the first installment of, “News with Nick!”

Our first news story comes from wired.com. 

http://www.wired.com/threatlevel/2011/05/eight-domains-seized/

I’m sure by now you have all heard of this garbage of big brother/sis, siezing some of the most glorious domains to ever exist on the interweb.  Obviously it is upsetting when one of your favorite(yet illegal) websites gets shut down but that is only a small part of the problem.  The real problem here is that this is being done by the Dept. of Homeland Security(DHS). 

After doing some research on the DHS I have come to the conclusion that they are in the wrong here.  First I pulled this from their website:

“Homeland Security leverages resources within federal, state, and local governments, coordinating the transition of multiple agencies and programs into a single, integrated agency focused on protecting the American people and their homeland. More than 87,000 different governmental jurisdictions at the federal, state, and local level have homeland security responsibilities. The comprehensive national strategy seeks to develop a complementary system connecting all levels of government without duplicating effort. Homeland Security is truly a “national mission.””

Now I focused on the part where they state, “focused on protecting the American people and their homeland.”  Now when I thought about it, I realized that what they are really doing is protecting the minority of people rather than the majority.  The minority they are protecting is the entertainment giants; the record companies, the tv/film industry, etc.  They are ignoring the need of the everyday person to be able to provide a fun and hopeful life for their kids while still being able to afford their groceries.

Is it fair for a movie company to charge a family of 4  upwards of 50 dollars to go see a movie, that might/might not be good?  I don’t think so.  I think that these movies that are questionable in quality should be able to be downloaded and seen before that much money is spent on it.  Sure there are critics giving reviews of the movies, but if you go by the critics you may never see a good movie again.  (snobby morons) Anyway, I have travelled away from the point of this news story.  Ever since Barack Obama has been president I have been able to watch less live sports online and find it harder to stream awesome(maybe) movies instantly to my Mac.  So it’s time for someone to step in and say enough is enough Barack, let us have this one thing.  Just this one thing.  Don’t ruin everything. Discuss.

The Truth has been written.

Most everyone has experienced a time in which they have had their patience tested.  It is in these times which we most learn about ourselves.  Will we fly off the handle, or stay calm and le…. oh forget it this is stupid.  Time to play some Call of Duty!!!

Michael Scott

There has never before

Been a character like you

Whose peers abhor

And cant understand what it is you do

A creative genius

Or absolute fool

Some might even say

you were a big tool

But there is more inside

Your heart is wide

While stupidity prevails

Your humor never fails

From that’s what she said

To cooking bacon while in bed

Hardcore Parkour

To that thing on your office floor

From Jan, to Carol, you also did Donna

You even hooked up with Pam’s old Momma

But you, like me, chose to be Jolly

And settle down with a lady named Holly

Now you are gone

No more paper you’re filing

I just want you to know

You always left me satisfied and smiling.

TV has just declared BANKRUPTCY!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to write a blog about sports sadness, but it is too hard, I am sad because of sports, and there are no words to express it.  There is always next year…..

Well I haven’t blogged in a long time but it has been a very interesting week in my life as a sports fan.  Let us start at the beginning….

Sunday:  I start out my greatest week of sports ever highly optimistic about the week ahead.  I was attending the battle for last place in the NFL between the winless carolina panthers and the highly underachieving 1-5 49ers.  The game started out well, touchdown on the first drive, and then the most boring game ever proceeded to take place…ok this is taking too long and making me angry. soo…..

sunday-my 49ers lost to the panthers who suck.

wednesday- hurricanes shut out by the capitals

thursday- fsu loses to nc state on a late fumble that was stupid and shouldnt have ever happen.

saturday- canes get shutout again and obnoxious fans of questionable pittsburgh decent get to revel in victory.

At least this week is over…

Everyone at some point has done it.  We all have moments of weakness(or strength depending on your internet pov).  I myself have done it more times than I can remember.  What I am talking about is…. “blog abandonment.” It’s not something that we are proud of, or ashamed of for that matter, but it is something that should be addressed.  Let us fist take a look at me.

I had my first blog in the early 1980’s.  I entitled it “Thoughts from the womb.”  It was not a very interesting blog, as I did not know anything other than darkness and the taste of salt.  But nevertheless I blogged about my daily life(still debatable) in my mothers abdomen.  Since this is getting kinda gross I’m gonna move on.  Oh wait, I forgot to mention my favorite blog post from back then,  it was entitled, “what the heck is this rope like thing and why is it trying to choke me out, OH GOD Why is it so bright in here.”  That was from the day my umbilical chord got wrapped around my neck three times and I turned purple.  Also it was my birthday.  Good day for me.

My first internet blog was born from longing to be accepted into the internet world.  I got a site on i believe it was tripod.com and let me tell you, it was awful.  It wasn’t focused on information as much as it was looks.  It had a killer space themed background that would challenge your brain in such a way that you would constantly ask the age old question, “why am I here?”  Also it was aptly named Nicks page of greatness.

That was a precursor to something much greater.  xanga.com/xxpunkxxrockerxx.  This was my first real attempt at an actual blog.  This probably had the longest run of my blogs.  It was also home to many great blog posts that have since been deleted by the administrator.  Oh the good ol’ days of xanga, introduced to me by one ryan jernigan.  I used to frolic through the mind gears and let anything and everything out without question of morality or consciousness.  If you have never had and abandoned a xanga account then you have never lived.  Anyway….

After my days of blogging were through….or so I thought,  I went through a get out of the matrix phase that lasted nearly two years, I deleted all of my social party going accounts and went dormant.  Little did I know that my powers would be summoned for a greater cause.  This reawakening has brought me here….to Tumblr(e’s must not apply).  While I have been here I have tried to convey the truth to any and all persons who may read.  But alas, it happened again.  I abandoned my blog. 

There are many reasons for abandoning blogs. None of which are justified.  Some abandon blogs out of laziness.  Others abandon blogs out shear neglect.  But I have found that most people abandon blogs for the same reason,  lack of viewer response.  Everyone loves blogging, but noone likes coming back to their post to find 0 comments and 3 views.  It is very discouraging.  Here you are, pouring your heart and your soul out into the vast world known as the internet and noone gives 2 shizzles to read or leave a response.  If it sucks say it sucks. if its great compliment it.  But lord knows, dont just ignore it and click away like you’ve learned nothing.  

Side note: I am at work right now and All in the family is on the tv.  Those were definitely not the days.

I guess this post is written more to myself than to others but I feel that most people can relate and have been in this situation before.  So when you are blogging, or reading a blog, or even thinking about a blog that you use to love but for whatever reason have left cold and lonely on the street, just remember:  Noone likes a dirty sock duct taped in there mouth during a midnight raping.  

Welcome back tumblr.  I have missed you so.

So I’ve decided that we need to all come together as believers in the Christ, and do him a huge favor. We have been celebrating Christmas for as long as I can remember and I don’t think Jesus, the reason for Christmas, has ever gotten a Christmas present. So we must join together and give him 2000 or so years worth of Christmas presents. So lets start saving up and if we find something we think he might like, then we should get it and set it aside for the RAPTUUUUURRREEEE. Then we can bring him gifts when we go to heaven. I’m gonna name it, “Operation Jesus Presents.”